so, my auditions sucked... i have pretty horrendous stage fright...i might even be phobic at this point. medicating it is getting old and i've decided i'm quite over feeling like i'm about to go into an epileptic fit everytime i sing in front of anyone who has musical knowledge.... it becomes so overwhelming...as if my entire existence somehow rests on their acceptance of my voice... if i sing well, it means i'm ok and if i mess up, it means i'm a failure/ less whole/ less desirable/ LESS. Pretty sad perspective. Luckily, or regretfully (not quite sure yet) i have a voice teacher with a couple schemes to help me overcome the fear. I think i just need some intensive "break your phobia" bootcamp.
3 comments:
Well at least you audition, better than nothing :) I have bad stage fright too... not only for singing but for talking in front of people too. Sometimes I think I have social anxiety... but maybe that's pushing it.
I used to be in choir and they always told me I was a soprano... but I really don't think I am. I never sang a solo and rarely auditioned for anything unless it absolutely necessary. I sang publicly maybe twice in my life. The last time was really weird. Personally, I think I sing okay, and the real fear I have is that people will notice my nervousness on stage. Somehow my fear manifested itself into vibrato... it was freaky and people commented on it in a good way. I'm afraid I won't be able to control my voice lol. Oh well. Good luck with that stage fright.
Oh, Jeni since I know you have a beautiful voice and so does everyone from TOILA can you pretend that we are there in the Front row? Or would that make it worse if you know people you know are there? I'm in the latter group. I never had Stage fright singing as bad as I had it playing the piano fro recital in college. I finally quit the piano since I couldn't stand the barfing that went with every performance even for the class. Somehow voice recitals never incapacitated me that badly.
hi jeni- i know singing brings you joy- that is the reason you sing,no? just remember that, no mattter who or what your audience is- you have a beautiful voice- a gift to be shared- love ya- berit
ps- i recommend some 'alexander technique' lessons...do you know of it?;)
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