ent...i'm scared

ever had your nose-blowing muscles hurt? i've had sinus problems most my life.. in fact, this nose has polished off several thousand kleenex boxes all on its own and while it's been blown raw on more than a few occasions, i've never felt anything quite like this before.

i'm trying to be calm about my appointment tmw, but i'm more than a little nervous. let's see...first reason: several years ago, while i was without health insurance i went to one of those lovely sit-in-the-waiting room-for-hours-before-anyone-sees-you-clinics [which i was very thankful for since i was BROKE and couldn't afford health insurance since i was classified as a major risk due to my weight, and could only qualify for a plan that would've cost me $300/month... meanwhile, now i can't qualify for anything other than catastrophic insurance and pay over $10,000 for medical care yearly...which is another reason i'm worried about visiting the ent now and getting an additional diagnosis before i have stable health insurance...side commentary over... back to the first reason i'm scared]. they (the clinic) actually did more for me than my primary care physician ever did. i went in for a routine bout of sinusitis and was sent for xrays...seems rather simple, but noone ever thought it might be a prudent measure... before whisking me out with the usual orders and antibiotics, the attending physician made a point to walk me over to my xray, pointed to the sinus cavities and told me there was something unusual going on...some tissue...he was vague, yet adamant i have it looked at by an ent as soon as i got insurance. since my health insurance is a joke, i've never been seen.

second reason i'm scared: 2 years ago mom was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer... this was her second time battling the cancer...and it's amazing she's alive...first time was 20 years before, when they removed a lump in her neck, treated her with radiation, and gave her a clean bill of health even though they "couldn't find the host." luckily, my mother was treated at stanford and they were finally able to cure her! we pray she lives many more years cancer-free. so, i'm scared because i have very similar symptoms to those she had before her diagnosis and according to the research, family members of people with NPC are more likely to get this cancer.

my appointment is at 10:15 am... please send energy/pray it's just scar tissue causing all this havoc and i'm really ok...thanks!